By Sister Dolores Carmel, O.Carm.
Here it goes; my first attempt at contributing on our
formation blog page! I’m sipping on a warm cup of coffee listening to a fun
song called “My Silver Lining” by First Aid Kit. The lyrics that strike out to
me are, “I hear a voice calling, calling out for me. These shackles I’ve made
in an attempt to be free. Be it for a reason, be it for love. I won’t take the
easy road.” This captures what I currently feel as a senior novice in my first
mission in Pennsylvania. It’s been both exciting with a bit of nervousness as I
face a new chapter and way of life that I never thought possible. I’ve never
been a very wordy person and I sometimes struggle to articulate my thoughts and
feelings so crafts and music have paved a path of expressing myself hence; why
this song helped me to be present to this part of my journey.
The
voice that calls has been the spirit of the Lord and continually calls me in a
variety of ways. Only he knows how to catch and keep my attention. As I get acquainted to my first mission I
think about how God has stretched me in ways I never thought possible. I never thought
I would have the opportunity to be driving around these long country roads,
feeding the elderly, and giving them communion. It’s been like I’ve been
following a beat of a song I’ve never heard of; and boy do I love dancing to a
good beat!
As
the song continues, it mentions an attempt to be free. It is true that we all
desire to be free and happy. I discovered that notion as I child and desired it
with my whole heart but I thought it was through self-edification and the
merits of virtue (or as kid would articulate doing good) did I lose myself a
bit. However, as God always brings us to him his grace reached out and
continues to reach out that all good things come through him did I understand
that freedom is relying on God’s unconditional love.
Finally,
the lyrics mention that it’s not about taking the easy road. This spoke
immensely because it hasn’t been easy as following God takes you to unfamiliar
places and doing uncomfortable things. The beauty of it though is that is there
with through every step and he will send you all the assistance you need. As
Jesus told Nicodemus about how man is led by the spirit: “the wind blows
wherever it pleases, you hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes
from or where it is going (John 3:8).”
Overall,
I’ve been immensely grateful in all that God has done in the process of my
journey and I look forward to what else he has in store. I pray that I can grow
in love and be of service to him wherever he leads.