By Sister Dolores Carmel, O.Carm.
Here it goes; my first attempt at contributing on our formation blog page! I’m sipping on a warm cup of coffee listening to a fun song called “My Silver Lining” by First Aid Kit. The lyrics that strike out to me are, “I hear a voice calling, calling out for me. These shackles I’ve made in an attempt to be free. Be it for a reason, be it for love. I won’t take the easy road.” This captures what I currently feel as a senior novice in my first mission in Pennsylvania. It’s been both exciting with a bit of nervousness as I face a new chapter and way of life that I never thought possible. I’ve never been a very wordy person and I sometimes struggle to articulate my thoughts and feelings so crafts and music have paved a path of expressing myself hence; why this song helped me to be present to this part of my journey.
The voice that calls has been the spirit of the Lord and continually calls me in a variety of ways. Only he knows how to catch and keep my attention. As I get acquainted to my first mission I think about how God has stretched me in ways I never thought possible. I never thought I would have the opportunity to be driving around these long country roads, feeding the elderly, and giving them communion. It’s been like I’ve been following a beat of a song I’ve never heard of; and boy do I love dancing to a good beat!
As the song continues, it mentions an attempt to be free. It is true that we all desire to be free and happy. I discovered that notion as I child and desired it with my whole heart but I thought it was through self-edification and the merits of virtue (or as kid would articulate doing good) did I lose myself a bit. However, as God always brings us to him his grace reached out and continues to reach out that all good things come through him did I understand that freedom is relying on God’s unconditional love.
Finally, the lyrics mention that it’s not about taking the easy road. This spoke immensely because it hasn’t been easy as following God takes you to unfamiliar places and doing uncomfortable things. The beauty of it though is that is there with through every step and he will send you all the assistance you need. As Jesus told Nicodemus about how man is led by the spirit: “the wind blows wherever it pleases, you hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going (John 3:8).”
Overall, I’ve been immensely grateful in all that God has done in the process of my journey and I look forward to what else he has in store. I pray that I can grow in love and be of service to him wherever he leads.